15th Illinois Cavalry CIVIL WAR SOLDIER LETTER - Terrific Content from Cairo, IL

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15th Illinois Cavalry CIVIL WAR SOLDIER LETTER - Terrific Content from Cairo, IL:
$117.50

CIVIL WAR LETTER

This Civil War soldier letter was written by Amos Watson Kibbee (1828-1915) who enlisted at Metropolis, Illinois, in August 1861 as a corporal in Carmichael’s Independent Cavalry Company which was originally Cavalry Co. B, 29th Illinois Infantry, later Stewart’s Battalion, Co. B, and finally consolidated into the15th Illinois Cavalryas Co. B.

According to military records, Kibbee stood 5’9″ tall, had light hair and blue eyes, and was a native of Barkhamsted, Connecticut. He mustered out of the service as a sergeant in August 1864 after three years.

Amos was the son of James Kibbee (1801-1885) and Alma Root (1807-1885) of Litchfield, Connecticut. He wrote this letter to his cousin, Harriet A. Tuttle (1840-1887) who he would marry in December 1868.

TRANSCRIPTION

[Cairo, Illinois]
December 3, 1861

Well Hattie, I have a few leisure moments today and another dirty sheet of paper so I thought I would encroach still a little farther upon your patience. Oh what a blissful homelike picture you drew of yourself and your surroundings, seated in your little sanctum without dread of fear of the disturbance of the outer world and oh! such a wide contrast between your position and mine. There all is still, peaceful and quiet; here all is noise, clatter, confusion worse confounded. My 15 roommates are nearly all sitting around the stove laughing, jesting, and some of them are old campaigners in the Mexican War, 2 or 3 are graduates from the Prussian Army (Dutch) and we have one who was an explorer under Fremont on the mountains and plains of the West. Some three or four of them are talking at once relating incidents of the past and prophecies for the future while the most of them are working away on their accoutrements cleaning saddles, arms, boots, and uniforms, while I, dear Coz, have taken my stand at the only window in our room (12 X 24) standing and leaning against a shelf which serves for a desk, and indicting a letter to you.

With your knowledge of me, my habits and disposition, can you think or believe that I enjoy myself here? No Hattie, I did not come here for the pleasure I expected to see in the service for I was fully conscious of all the inconvenience of the situation. But I was impelled only by a stern sense of the duty I owe to my country and the Flag under which I have been born and bred and learned to respect. But perhaps this was somewhat enhanced by the recklessness caused by, and in consequence of, my isolated position in the world. I think perhaps it would be difficult to find a man who has more completely outgrown as it were the ambitious aspirations of youth after happiness.

Oh how bitter has been the pangs caused by the severance of cherished but separated hopes — hopes I had thought were fraught with almost transcendental happiness. They were transitory and fleeting as the vision of Mirza. Escaped, gone, never more to return to the heart which though not callous or dead, is devoid of the yearnings which animated it in former years. Yes, Hattie, I have lived in the light of unrealized hopes, indulged in speculative day dreams which although they were the source of great happiness at the time, have left the bitterness of disappointment behind. And yet for all this, I am not despairing or entirely devoid of happiness. I can look forward with calmness and in trust toward the “great beyond” awaiting not eagerly but patiently and resignedly the end which at the most is not far off. The first youth is passed, the second is fast creeping on. A few months more and one half the three score and ten years will be gone — one half the voyage of life accomplished and the other, oh how fast fleet the seasons, the milestones of time.

I ought not to have written in the sad strain but although I am surrounded by my companions in arms, I feel lonely and sad at times. There are many ere who think we shall be disbanded before, or early in the spring, and if their prediction proves true, there are a few here who contemplate an overland tour to Oregon or California and perhaps I may accompany them but not until I have visited you and the people in Connecticut and perhaps not at all as I have not committed myself yet. But I will not anticipate for I myself have my doubts of an early disbanding of the army. A great deal depends upon the success of the great coast expedition and the celerity with which it is reinforced and supported. Success in South Carolina and Louisiana, I think, would induce the speedy submission of the whole South. But if it is a separate game they are playing and until they have seen the last hope of success perish, they will persist in their mad efforts. I could not well do your offerding or at least comply with your wishes to “be good,” — that is, if writing within the time specified forms the only qualification of goodness. But for reasons which I have already mentioned, I shall claim your indulgence for this time and when I tell you I have done the best I could, as you are not naturally hard-hearted, I believe you will grant your forgiveness.

Yes, I am glad to hear that Eunice Kibbee is married — at last attained the object for which she has longed so many years. But to tell the truth, I would not liked to have been at the wedding. Old memories are still busy in my brain. All is forgiven but not forgotten. As for kissing the bride, ha ha — what an idea. It has been so long since I have done the like, I almost begin to think I have forgotten how. At all events, there is so much hair on my face now I should perform the operation very awkwardly if I done it at all and I guess when you come to see my likeness, you would shrink from becoming the subject of a treat. I have not forgotten about the likeness and think I shall be able to get it taken this week as there are a couple of artists lately arrived in camp. I have tried several times to get leave of absence for the purpose of having it taken but have failed. But now I think there will be no difficulty. Oh how much I should like to make you a visit this winter. I should like to come gliding quietly into your little rooms while you were sitting alone pensively thinking over bye gones and bend silently over your shoulder and — and — well I shall go to a barber shop before I get there and maybe I should remember how unless there should happen to be some other feller there who laid claim to your allegiance and maybe even then I shouldn’t see him. But I am getting tired of standing here as you will be of reading long before you get this far so I must offer you another goodbye.

— Amos W. Kibbee to Hattie A. Tuttle

Coz, again it is evening and as long as I have space or time, it seems almost impossible to stop writing but I will not much longer try your patience. I wish to speak particularly about your likeness. If your likeness taken last winter is a true likeness, I don’t know as I ought to ask you to get another but I would like one as perfect as possible for I should like very much to see whether you have altered any in the past year since we met. You speak of growing old. Oh Hattie, — 21 last August you grow old at 21 for that is your age. Am not I good at keeping dates. If nothing happens, I will have mine taken next Friday and send it so you will get it next week. I have one large one in Metropolis taken in Nas ____ last winter but as I do not consider it a good likeness, I will get another one.

Do you remember, Hat, I used to like to see you with ….. I thought it become you very much. I fancy your short hair. Makes you look somewhat as you did then. If so, I should like very much to have a likeness taken now although I shall not be particular either way. As for growing old, why you are scarcely in your prime even with me who am thirteen years older than you. It is not time which has weighed so heartily upon my brow but I have altered very much. I feel that I am growing old but it is more in spirit than in body. Of this you shall shortly see. I will not weary you longer. So goodbye again.

TERMS

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