This book is excellent because it allows you to understand the chemical as well as emotional things that are taking place when you have been abandoned. I knew that it was very similar to the stages that one goes through when mourning the death of a loved one, but there was so much more to it than that. It has helped me to very quickly remove the 'victim' label that people were attaching to the situation. I am healing much faster than I anticipated now. I am able to move forward ...something I had not been able to do for nearly a year. I have finally stopped asking why and started living my life again. I am not one to read self-help books and I always believed my spirituality would get me through anything life threw at me. It did not. My situation was unique, humiliating, devastating, swift, vicious and was so well hidden that I never saw it coming. It was impossible for anyone else to understand, let alone believe because it was so brutal. This compounded the abandonment issue for me, something that related back to my Mother since childhood. Since my situation was difficult for outsiders to relate to and friends didn’t quite know how to help me through the worst thing I had ever experienced in my life, I felt so alone and afraid. My situation was more like a made-for-TV movie than my actual life because of the circumstances. I felt alone and abandoned by almost everyone even when they were there. There was a mental illness involved on the part the abandoner. I had no idea it had progressed as far as it had. It was hard to imagine that he was capable of such brutality, that he was not 'normal' anymore and even harder to understand what I was feeling. I knew that it was over in my mind, and that I had survived it but the reactions I was having came out of nowhere, when I least expected it and would leave me crying and drained for days at a time before I could function again. From panic attacks to feeling like I should have died, this book helped me to understand it all. It also helped me to understand that everything I had been feeling was normal. It no longer mattered to me "Why" it happened. Now it is about my healing and moving forward in a new life that I can create for myself. I have read many books on the subject; this one is the best at addressing specific chemical changes, emotional pain and the stages of the entire healing process. In fact, I didn't bother to read any other books on the subject after I read this book. This one is perfect. If you are feeling devastated by a loved one, this book WILL help you to heal. It will also explain everything you are experiencing from the first shattering moment to the last tear you ever shed for the person who hurt you in such a horrible, painful way. Beyond that, it addresses your specific needs and how to cope when you just don't think you can go on anymore as a result of the pain someone else created for you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and this book was it for me. I thought this book was amazing and spoke directly to the parts of me that were still ‘raw’ in a way that created actual healing in my mind, heart and soul. Your mental health depends on your ability to heal the emotional devastation created when someone you love has emotionally annihilated you. I highly recommend this book. It will change your outlook, if not your life.Read full review
Helps me explore ideas that may have been submerged in all my 60+ years that may not allow me to live a full life. Provides me an understanding of my son's complex emotions that arose after his recent breakup in his intiate relationship of 3 years.
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: Pre-owned
I have read this book twice and always refer people to it. I can honestly say it changed my life through shifting my perspective around the control I was giving to other people in my life. Don't let the word "abandonment" deter you, the knowledge is invaluable and useful to everyone struggling mentally and emotionally. I couldn't recommend this book more!
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: Pre-owned
The book is amazing. I am reading it and finding out lots of interesting things about myself I was not aware of that affect my relationships as an adult.
Verified purchase: Yes | Condition: Pre-owned
Very well developed ideas and careful presentation. I found that reading this book was like attending a support group without actually having to be there. It was nice to know that what I am dealing with is something that everyone is dealing with. It was also good to get some ideas about how to approach the healing process when all that I could think about was pain.
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